Preached by the Reverend Canon Kati L. Houts at the Sunshine Cathedral on Sunday, October 22, 2006, at the 9:50 am service.
The Phoenix Affirmations: # 8
The Path of Jesus is found where Christ’s followers love those who consider them their enemies as much as they love themselves, striving humbly to embody the ‘fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.’
When we come into contact with the other person, our thoughts and actions should express our mind of compassion, even if that person says and does things that are not easy to accept. We practice in this way until we see clearly that our love is not contingent upon the other person being lovable.
18If the people of this world hate you, just remember that they hated me first. 19If you belonged to the world, its people would love you. But you don’t belong to the world. I have chosen you to leave the world behind, and that is why its people hate you.
Have you ever had one of those days when you just did not think you had the energy to tackle another one of life’s challenges? I usually find that that is when I will be given more opportunities to meet another one of life’s challenges. Today’s affirmation and reading from the gospel of John presents a paradox. We are to love those who do not love us; who persecute us, who discriminate against us; and who speak and act in cruel ways towards us. Giving them our best does not sound like an easy or welcoming task for any of us.
There is a story about a certain king, who, after conquering his enemies, took them into his favor and included them in his court. His noblemen argued with him, saying that he should have destroyed them. But the king said ‘The best way to destroy my enemies is to make them my friends.’
As children we learned the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. But as we grew older, we realized that the world operates according to a slightly different version of that rule; Do unto other before they can do unto you! We were told: Don’t give an inch! Hit ’em where it hurts! Many of us became convinced that the only way to get ahead was to get there first, and the only way to survive was to assume a defensive stance. Unfortunately, in any case, this is all too true.
Who of us has not responded to another in some like manner? Jesus knew that if He commanded us to love one another, we would love only on our own terms. You know what our terms are, don’t you? “You treat me nice; I’ll be nice to you. You be gracious to me and I’ll be gracious to you. You show me kindness and I’ll show you kindness. You be loveable and I’ll love you. But, if you don’t, I won’t either.” These seem to be our terms for loving; but they certainly are not God’s terms. God wants us to love others not like we want but as we have been loved by Jesus.
Despite this being a peculiar way to love according to our standards, it is actually the highest possible test of our love for God and the most difficult of all duties to be performed – loving our enemies.
This kind of love is known as the love of benevolence. That by which we wish well to
another person, even though we do not approve of their conduct. It seems impossible to love someone whose conduct demonstrates their contempt for us, that may injure us or our property, or that violates all the laws of God. But God is very clear in that we must love them as we have been loved by Jesus.
These principles which Jesus offers are not just building blocks for a peaceful and harmonious society; they are tools for living a happy satisfied life. The reality is that when someone hurts us, unless we deal with the hurt in a constructive way, resentment will build, bitterness will creep in, and that relationship may be destroyed. Hurt comes in a multitude of packages: harsh words, lack of responsiveness or caring, infidelity, neglect, judgment, slander, lack of support, and misunderstanding. The list is nearly endless. While we may not have in our hearts a file marked “enemies”, each of us has been hurt at some time by a friend, a relative a spouse or a co-worker, maybe even by a pastor. And each of us has no doubt caused hurt to someone else. How we deal with our hurts is important because all too often hurting people hurt other people.
Yes, we have all been perpetrators of unkind conduct as well as being on the receiving end of
this kind of treatment. Jesus however, calls us not to regard ourselves as victims or allow ourselves to be shaped by the hostilities and abuse unleashed upon us. We are instead to take the initiative, but not by responding in the same way they treated us. We are not to react, but to act according to the principles of love, forgiveness and generosity outlined by our Heavenly Creator.
A true meaning of the love command is not acceptance to evil and violence, but the imitation of God’s love by freeing enemies of their hatred and violent destructiveness. Love of enemies is not a substitute for the quest for a world of justice and peace, but it is its driving force.
I realize we have used the word enemies a lot in today’s sermon, but remember, enemies are usually perceived as those who do all kinds of acts that are hurtful and cruel. Enemies can even be our neighbors. This is why Jesus wants us to remember the second most important law and that is to “love our neighbors as ourselves.” Eric Elnes in his book “The Phoenix Affirmations” reminds us “If we do not learn to see the humanity in our neighbors even as we struggle with them over issues of justice and righteousness, we will surely lose the very things we hold most dear. If we cannot perceive that at base we are more the same than different, we will not gain what we seek most urgently.” In other words, we are more alike than we think we are. When we recognize this, we have a better chance to make amends and learn to love each other.
He goes on to say that he has found it to be helpful if we would sit down and discuss and really listen to one another. Do not be defensive or ready to blame but rather be willing to try and see things from each other’s point of view; stand in one another’s shoes for a while; do not be afraid to admit when you are wrong. One of the mistakes people often make when sincerely trying to love those with whom they struggle is that they assume that no one must ever get angry or upset. Given the opportunity to meet their opposition face to face, they feel guilty if the encounter doesn’t end in group hugs and a round of “Kumbaya”.
The challenge is clear: to examine our lives, to sort out those festering hurts and to deal with them as God instructs us. It isn’t about getting even. Gandhi said that if we agreed with the saying “an eye for an eye” the whole world would soon be blind. The answer is to act not react to negative behavior against you or anyone else. As Elnes says, “When we learn to bring our common humanity to the table in our personal struggles with others, even as we bring our critiques, we are in a vastly better position to negotiate by using these same dynamics at the community level (including national and international levels).”
Imagine what our world would be like if national leaders got together in this manner; truly listened to each other, respected what was said; and tried to resolve issues without violence. First, though we need to learn to live this way in our everyday lives before we try it on the national level. If we really do learn to love our neighbor as we love ourselves, there is more of a reason to hope both for our personal lives and for our planet. This way of living truly supports our affirmation today. Listen again: The Path of Jesus is found where Christ’s followers love those who consider them their enemies as much as they love themselves, striving humbly to embody the “fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” Know that you are richly loved by God; even when you make mistakes or act in unkind ways. God loves all of us unconditionally. And that is a lifetime guarantee! Amen.
